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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 12:46 PM by Benevolent Heretic
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A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He sits at a bar stool and orders a drink and says to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde
joke”?
In a husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know that the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is
blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight
lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. You still wanna tell that joke"?
The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 12:59 PM by Nikita
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Am I too late?
This is so cool, my first ATS gala.
I brought a few goodies: chips and dips, tequila, ice 
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 02:27 PM by NotClever
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 Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
I doon'...donn'....(who put the shcigar in my sshshiraz?)....gettid...get...it...
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 02:31 PM by BaastetNoir
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Originally posted by TheBandit795
You all know we like to drink, (I personally a little bit less). But rumour has it that that's the only thing the Admins are talking about. These
days it's extra cold guinness on their minds. I don't know what's going on!! Except for Springer though, he's not really seeing the beer thing...
For him is strong liquor!
So I'm warning you my dear members... Be careful!!! you might get some strange warns, p-troll warns or be banned in the coming few days!
* pooring the beer bing hose down TheBandit795's mouth * ....
Shut up Dude...you just need to cheer up ! 
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 07:18 PM by TheBandit795
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Buuude!!! Sdop pourrrrring zo much beeeheeeer in me mouth!!!
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 07:44 PM by William One Sac
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Originally posted by TheBandit795
Buuude!!! Sdop pourrrrring zo much beeeheeeer in me mouth!!!
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 08:20 PM by Yarcofin
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*stumbles in late after a long day's work*
.....What'd I miss.
GET CRUNKKKKKKKK lawlz.
BH, nice ToothpasteForDinner cartoon. Best site ever next to ATS.
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 08:29 PM by EnronOutrunHomerun
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Phew!!
I've finally sobered up from my drunken post last night! *rubs sore spot on head* - How did that get there?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[edit on 3/25/2006 by EnronOutrunHomerun]
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 08:38 PM by irishmen3g
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 09:09 PM by kegs
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Man walks into a pub and orders ten shots of whisky to be lined up on the bar.
Barman looks at him strangly, but serves up the shots.
The man downs them , one by one, and sets the last shot glass back down on the bar.
If you don't mind me asking, says the barman, why are you drinking so fast?
You'd drink as fast as me if you had what I have, says the man.
Why? what do you have? says the barman, concerned.
"About 30p"
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 09:44 PM by watch_the_rocks
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One monday a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walked into a pub. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their
beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman
fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, but then
held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT 'OOT, SPIT IT 'OOT YOU BASTARD!!"
Hehe . . .
And the typical Aussie fridge . . .
edit: PS, happy b-day WOS!
[edit on 25/3/2006 by watch_the_rocks]
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 09:57 PM by ADVISOR
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*Steps out of shadows using super-nano enhanced stealth invisibility.*
Drunk as drunk can be!
You will never catch me!
*Snags a keg and guzzles it down while hijacking all other taps*
*Fades away only to leave a faint sound, of keg taps jingling, then gone.*
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reply posted on 25-3-2006 @ 10:41 PM by anxietydisorder
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OK, Everybody Out..............
Happy Birthday William One Sac..........
I brought a few of the girls with me to clean up this mess.
With all the empty bottles around, it's a wonder the ATS board is still running.
At least a few Mods got the empties back to the sink, and the girls thank you.
For those of you that just tossed them in the street....
SHAME ON YOU !!!!!!!!!!
Your next party will be more supervised,
but only because you brought it on yourselves.......
I expect that the Mod or member, or whoever put the foil in the lobby will come back in the morning and clean it up.
The girls will not remove the glue that was used on the walls.
We would like to thank the participants for not trashing the "Inner Sactum".
It's nice to see that some things are still sacred.
Happy Birthday William................
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reply posted on 26-3-2006 @ 01:40 AM by Riwka
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Good Morning
I only wanted to brew fresh coffee in the Mod kitchen....
What can I say...
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... not one single clean cup.....
What a great birthday party! 
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reply posted on 26-3-2006 @ 02:09 AM by anxietydisorder
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Hangover Cures.............
I guess we'll have to post a few of these.
 CURE #1
THE BLOODY MARY (the ultimate)
There is no substitue for a Bloody Mary. Ounce for ounce the curative factors involved in this drink are astonishing. There are not enough good things
that can be said about this drink in curing a hangover.
And honestly, if you hate tomato juice, don't worry, I DESPISE tomato juice, it generally makes me sick thinking about it. BUT TRUST ME. Once you add
the other ingredients it becomes a different substance, which you will really love! That is a science fact!
It is the ultimate weapon in any fight against hangover pain. The only problem is you will become progressively more useless as you drink more and
more of them, but then you weren't going to do anything anyway. And certainly, if you had that hangover still you'd be lying in bed will the blinds
closed!
Ingredients:
2 oz Vodka
6 oz Tomato Juice (NOTE: if you can find "Beefamato," use it- this will make the ultimate Bloody Mary. So good you will be amazed
actually)
4 tsp Worcestershire Sauce (this may be the secret 'x' ingredient)
2-3 drops tabasco sauce
A celery stick should be jammed into this thing also - you can consider the celery stick 'breakfast.'
You will feel better in about 15 minutes.
The girls were pleased that no glass was broken, and the main hall had minimal damage.
But nobody wants to touch that thing in the kitchen because of the intimidating stare, so I think we might need a trap.
Is anyone missing a brown glove and a marsupial marmoset ?
They seem inseparable right now, so they're a package deal.
Please pick them up at the front desk..........
Should be fairly quiet around here today...
[edit on 26/3/2006 by anxietydisorder]
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reply posted on 26-3-2006 @ 03:13 PM by Nygdan
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Oh hoho, you don't even want to know what we've got planned for April first, mwa hahahahaha. I can't wait! 
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