Guiness must rule over all!

Cans shall be abolished, except for fishing and camping trips.

Portable taps must go wherever a drinker goes.

Any drink that is not "Dark" Or "Amber" shall be abolished.

Following eceptions-Vodka, Tequila

Kangaroos only method of transportation

You must throw a shrimp on the bawbie every morning

A country Practice will become the national television show.

And so are the Aussie rules

RRRRUUUNNNNNN!!!

Well....... take all the time you need William.

Just get your ARSE back here at 0500 tomorrow!

In all seriousness though....I hope everything is alright with you. Take-care okay?

I think mountainstar drinks COSMOS!

ALL DARK BEERS TASTE LIKE PETROL.

So are you gonna put guinness in your car/vehical then?

I think its time for a trial by the Grand Oracle, as the credentials of drunk are in doubt.


I CALL THE GRAND ORACLE NETCHICKEN.

Im glad it is only a temporary break...as William..ATS would not be the same without you man

Take care in your break, and be well.

-wD

Now whatever gave you that idea?

My credentials are above standard thanx but if you willing to learn summat from the master i shall be happy to tutor you

William? are you leaving us? Is netchicken the best replacement? (no offense NC) Can MA take over instead in your absence?
I just don't get all of NC's Aussie/Brit humor. Call me a dumb yank, but i never thought we were here to discuss England/Australia/US's dynamic. Its fine. I thought we all got along, even though we all talk a little differently. And drink different beer. Whats the Issue? Is William really 'stepping back'? That disheartens me.
Now just as the board increases, the decent content is decreasing...MA is still adecent draw, as is seekerof, and its actually good that DR is gone....but really, without William, thats no good. The site has already gotten so messy the only place i really go is the debate forum (kudos to JohnBull btw)
Seriously, william, pls do not 'step back'...and if you do, at least fill the void with someone that will not argue linguistics and beer with everyone...we all like talking and drinking, no need to argue over that...

Stumpy:

Dumb Yank! (J/k)

All rise for the Great Netchicken Oracle!

the GNO strode into the court resplendent in robes and wig with the remains of his spagetti lunch on his shirt. With a satsified sigh he eased himself into the chair.

"What is the first case this afternoon" he asked looking pointedly at the Bailiff Kano.
"Sir," Kano responded, "the first case is Mr Drunk, accused of impersonating a drunk when infact he has been stone cold sober".

"Bring the defendant forth" said the GNO.
Kano frogmarched the hapless drunk into the stand. "Hop to it" he said.
"But my legs are tied together" whined Drunk
"Thats why I said Hop" Kano's foot on Drunks rear propelled him into the dock.
"But I really am drunk" complained Drunk.
"Zat so" the GNO leaned forward.... a hush fell over the courtroom, they knew the signifigence of that movement from the GNO.
"So how many fingers am I holding up" he asked holding up 3 fingers.
"Three" Drunk said nerviously.
"Not bad" muttered the Oracle, "What is the capital of Singapore then huh?"
"Ahh Singapore?" Drunk ventured.
"What are you trying to tell me that Singapore is the capital of Singapore!" Thundered the Oracle.
A nervous titter ran around the audience.
"Get that titter out of here" the GNO glared at ProudAmerican.
"Yes Sir" ProudAmerican snapped to attention and jumped on the struggling titter dragging it from the room.
"Ah yes" repied Drunk.
"Perposterous" muttered the Oracle leaning back into his chair, but as he was unsure of the answer himself he moved on.

"So how do you plead Mr Drunk? Do you consider yourself guilty of being sober and impersonating a drunk, or indeed drunk and not impersonating a drunk."
Drunk's eyes swiveled around in his head as he tried to make sence of the charges.
"Ah I plead guilty, your honor"
"So are you a drunk Drunk or a sober drunk Drunk?"
"I am a sober drunk sir" Drunk straightened his posture
"A sober drunk eh," Then I find you guilty as charged of impersonating a drunk in a public place" he stamped the paper in front, "you will be sentenced to a bar and forced to drink Guiness until you can no longer stand, you may leave"

Kano dragged the sobbing Drunk from the dock.
"Not the Guiness, no, anything but the Guiness, he moaned, I can't stand the taste of petrol. Its bad enough that I have to sniff it all the time to get high"

"Listen sport" Kano whispered though clenched teeth, "it could have been worse, you might have had to drink Budweiser. On that weak beer you would never have got drunk enough to fulfill your sentance"
"Yeah" Drunk thought to himself as he hopped from the courtroom "Thats not bad at all".


[Edited on 19-11-2003 by Netchicken]

Salem,

If you saw what Seattle lesbians looked like, youd not think him so lucky. Seattle lesbians......thats the reason behind the saquatch sightings.

And like I said:

YOU WILL DRINK WHATEVER BEER I TELL YOU TO DRINK.

Even if its American beer. Because once I rule, your opinions and rights will amount to moot, and if I wish to bottle Elk piss and force it on my subservient masses as beer, it shall be so.

Because I said so.

Now, run for your life.

This is the funniest thing I've read in a looong time!!!

Butch lesbians!!!

Uhmm.. No offence to the GNO...

All GNO!!!

All GNO!!!


[Edited on 19-11-2003 by TheBandit795]

But the GNO still has his superiour. The White Furry One who's name is too holy to mention here in public.

Sorry, I listen too much movies



I wish elk piss is stronger than 9%, because Puppy won't drink something weaker than that
If not, you better learn to sleep with one eye open.


[Edited on 19-11-2003 by Salem]

Oh unmighty Simon would like to say that if his ISP would sort themselves out and give him his new high-speed broadband line yesterday as expected, he wouldn't have to reply on Internet cafes.

Since entering the 21st century, none of his home computers have 56k modems.

Truthfully guys and girls, if I could get on the Internet 24/7 like I used to and want to, I can fill William's shoes. Until then, it looks like NC is waving his thing around.

Also stumpy, your application for board jester is accepted. Welcome aboard.

WoooHoo!!
external imageexternal image

The Antipodean Rebel Alliance have control of the board.
Since we have now accertained what beer you can drink, the next area for control is food.

From now on all ATS members are required to purchase and consume at least 1 vegemite toast per day. We will make you guys healthy and fit whether you like it or not!

Note the expression of pure extacy on the consumer's face, this is more powerful that most illicit drugs!



[Edited on 19-11-2003 by Netchicken]

But vegemite is disgusting!
Now marmite, good old british marmite, that is lovely.